by

The Depression Has Come Back.

September 3, 2015 in My Blog

So you guys it has been awhile but I have started college and a bunch of other stuff so I am here to fill you all in.
I was going to go to school for cosmetology and I was super excited about it. Well I got a job at a hair salon and right away I knew it was not for me. I got into a horrible wreck. I hydroplaned and flipped my car for times. I was going 35 mph in a 55 zone. So i got a concussion (more on that in a little bit) so I had to go get an X-Ray. The lady who was doing it started asking me about college and all this and I told her I wasn’t sure as to what I wanted to do so she showed me about how to do an X-Ray and all. Turns out I love it and that is now what I am going to school for. I have started with just basic courses. It is a two year program so I’ll be graduated in 2017. It is some hard work but so far I have had A’s so I hope it stays that way.
The next thing, this when everything turns to crap. Me and my boyfriend of ten months broke up. He was always accusing me of cheating. I have never cheated on anyone and I never will. It is just my morals. He did not let me have any friends and was just super controlling and I was always called HORRIBLE names such as “you are a fucking piece of shit.” “You are the biggest bitch on this planet.” “You are a mental case.” He also did not believe I had my wreck he thought I was lying and I was just getting out of texting him so I could “cheat.” Finally I had enough and on August 10th I broke up with him and since then I have gained all my friends back. Sounds like I should be happy but I am far from it. Here is why: Just two days after we broke up he admitting to cheating on me with like three other girls. Even though he “loved” me. So here is some advice that I have just recently learned: If you are always being accused of cheating in a relationship even though you aren’t, more than likely your significant other is.

So the following week on of my old friends from school came back in contact with me. We started talking just as friends and we made a date. His name is Cody. Well I went over to his house first and we chilled and he asked me out and I said yes. Then we did something if you know what I am trying to get at. The next day he came and picked me up and we went to see a movie and went out to eat. Then Monday he came to my house. Everything was going wonderful or so I thought. Now he will not talk to me at all. I just feel so dirty because I had sex with him so soon. Then he just leaves me like I’m nothing. I thought I was doing the right thing but that obviously was not the case.

The final thing is my granddad. He has and pancreatic and liver cancer for three years now. He started having stomach pains last week. So he went to the cancer doctor and they set up a CT scan for him for yesterday. They got the results back the same day and they have found out that the cancer has spread to all of his lymph nodes.

I am so tired of all the bad like I should be looking on the positive side. I am doing good in school, I do not have to worry about stupid boys, and once something happens to my granddad he will not be hurting anymore. It is just hard to look on the positive side.

9 responses to The Depression Has Come Back.

  1. It seems like you know what you want, and what is best for you. Try to keep on track and worry about you before focusing on others. It will get you really far. You are a very strong person, and you will eventually get through this rough time. Positivity is difficult, but it sure is the best!

  2. Wow

  3. All will be well
    You don’t need to believe me
    You don’t have to see it now
    But you will.
    And btw that break up was a good thing. I’m glad you’re past it because lets not lie, the way he made you feel… You so don’t need that right now x

  4. Wow, that’s tragic. :/ I hope everything get’s better, I’ve been having issues of my own along the same line lately so I know the feeling. I hope you recover quickly from the concussion.

  5. Wow, you’re going through so much. I know the feeling. My boyfriend is starting to develop some negative behaviors and knowing me I’ll wait around forever to hope he changes. The accusations are beyond frustrating and I always make excuses for his behavior but I know deep down that isn’t happiness even though he used to make me the happiest girl in the world. As for the schooling aspect of it, I think it’s great that you’re stepping out of your comfort zone to try out new things! I’m doing a two year program for Web graphic Design although I know that isn’t a career I want to take part in, I just need the associates degree faster. I’m sorry about your grandpa.. That’s a really hard thing to deal with. Just remain hopeful as hard as it is, it’ll give him a reason to keep fighting for his life. Looking at the positive side is good. Keep going 🙂

  6. Your young and in college. Its a stressful time. That boy you dated and all the other boys your going to date are going to teach you little lessons even the ones you dont want to learn Ive been there ive done that and it fucking sucks because you dont know whats going to happen or where its going to go and if you let one guy fuck up your life its going to mess up all of your other relationships too. Honestly at this point just find yourself do things that you want to do dont worry about falling in love take time for you and focus on things you want if you meet someone in that process just be careful. I know im young as hell but I made some terrible decisions when I was young and I had to grow up fast. I hope your okay from the wreck you had and I hope your having a better day then you were on september 3 because this was when this was posted. Im sorry I wrote so much I just I care so much about people and it bugs me when douche bags do shit like that. Ill stop typing or else this is going to be a book.

  7. you are a very strong person for breaking up with your boyfriend. now you are on the right track everything happens for a reason. you learned a wonderful lesson with your boyfriend and look your wreck caused you to find your dream career and as for cody, he’s a pig and most guys are, but don’t worry you will find the right one just keep focusing on school and everything will fall into place 😉

  8. I did not think I could either but you just have to reach the point to were you are just fed up with it. Ii know you can do it. Trust me if I can you can. I hate hurting people.

  9. I’ve been going through the same. I mean the boufriend part. But I haven’t broken up yet. And I don’t know if I can.

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